


Forgiven

by purplebass



Category: The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25077535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplebass/pseuds/purplebass
Summary: The starless night loomed on the London Institute like a thick cloth of dark blue velvet, and as Tessa was staring at it from the balcony of the drawing room, she felt happy. She had all that she wanted in her proximity: her husband, her children, even Jem was close although he couldn’t be as close to her as she wanted, but it was okay. Despite everything that happened lately, things seemed under control. She probably shouldn’t had been optimist because things could change in the blink of an eye, but what could she do?
Relationships: Jem Carstairs & Tessa Gray & Will Herondale, Jem Carstairs/Tessa Gray/Will Herondale, Tessa Gray & James Herondale & Lucie Herondale & Will Herondale
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9
Collections: Wessa





	Forgiven

The starless night loomed on the London Institute like a thick cloth of dark blue velvet, and as Tessa was staring at it from the balcony of the drawing room, she felt happy. She had all that she wanted in her proximity: her husband, her children, even Jem was close although he couldn’t be as close to her as she wanted, but it was okay. Despite everything that happened lately, things seemed under control. She probably shouldn’t had been optimist because things could change in the blink of an eye, but what could she do?

“Mom,” James called from behind her and she turned with a smile. The lights were off, but James’ face was not completely hidden in the darkness. “You need to come out. Lucie has fainted, and…”

Tessa’s expression abruptly turned to apprehension. “What happened?”

“Come with me and I’ll explain, I-,” he began, then his voice stopped, as if he was chocking, and grabbed her hand to lead her to where his sister was. “I’m sorry, mama. I’m really sorry.”

“Sorry for what, James? Tell me what happened!” she demanded, trying to keep calm. “Why haven’t you taken her inside? Where is your father?”

James didn’t reply, he hurried towards the big doors that lead outside, moved by an oppressing anxiety. She had never seen him like this, she thought, but perhaps he hid it well. Once he opened the doors, Tessa couldn’t help herself and run towards Lucie. Cordelia and Matthew were also there, her _parabatai_ keeping Lucie’s head on her legs while the other tried to hold her in place. 

Lucie’s face was partially covered with blood, and her hair attached to her forehead. Her face was ashen, too pale, too lifeless.

She fell to her knees besides her and grabbed her face, caressed her forehead, and checked her pulse. “What happened, Cordelia?” she demanded again.

Cordelia was covered by blood herself and it had stained her dress. “We wanted to tell you, we really wanted to tell you and your husband about it.”

“What did you want to tell us? What, Cordelia? Speak, we don’t have much time!” she commanded, checking her daughter’s breathing. “Thank you,” she murmured to herself more than to them. “She’s still breathing. Have you applied some iratze?”

Tessa looked at James, who looked at Cordelia, who looked at Matthew. The three of them exchanged glances that she didn’t like – they were surely keeping something from her, and she wondered why they weren’t keen on revealing it.

“James…” Cordelia said, her voice almost a whisper in the dark. “Should I?”

James’s expression was grave and he shook his head. “I should,” he agreed, then his gaze moved swiftly from his two friends, who nodded. “We went to our grandfather.”

Tessa froze in place. “You did what? James, I told you, you shouldn’t look for him. We all told you. I don’t care who he is or what he does, I don’t want anything to do with him.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. We are sorry. Lucie… she… we…” James voice shook, and Tessa felt remorse in his words. “He struck her with his magic. We arrived just in time because she went alone to where he was hiding.”

Tessa squeezed Lucie’s hand and looked at her. “Oh, Lucie. _Why?_ Have you called Jem?”

“Will went to Jem,” Matthew explained listlessly. “We met him when we got there. He decided to personally go to him because he didn’t trust somebody else to call for him.”

She felt relieved by the news, but still, something was wrong. “Why is she here, though? Do you want me to help you take her inside?”

“She’s here because she can’t move past the entrance,” Cordelia said, resigned. Tessa could tell that Lucie’s friend was trying hard not to be affected by the moment, but she could see it in her eyes. She wanted to cry. “It’s like there is an invisible barrier that doesn’t let us pass,” she explained.

How serious was this?

They all heard footsteps coming from the gate, and Tessa was relieved to see Will and Jem running to them, the carriage of the Silent Brothers barely inside of the entrance as if they had hopped off before it would completely enter the cobblestone yard of the Institute.

“Has she regained consciousness?” Will wondered, putting a hand on Tessa’s shoulder, as Jem knelt down to check on Lucie.

 _How long has she been like this?_ Jem asked to the younger onlookers.

James passed a hand through his already tousled hair. He was pacing behind Cordelia, and he couldn’t stay still. “A while,” he admitted, sighing in frustration. “Maybe an hour.”

“An hour? Why have you waited so long to call somebody?” Will demanded, his voice as sharp as a knife. He didn’t intend to unleash at James, but he was losing his mind. “What if she can’t be fixed?”

_Calm down, Will. She’s still breathing. Now I need to…_

Jem’s words were cut short, and nobody realized what had just happened until it was too late, because they were shoved away from the scene with a powerful thud.

Tessa stood still as intricate vines held her legs rooted to the place. She didn’t know how she was standing since she had been on the ground less than a moment before, and what was worse was that it wasn’t just her legs bound by the shrubs, but her hands as well. She looked down and saw the vines already cutting her skin, drops of blood falling on the cobblestone of what she called her home staining the pavement. That place had witnessed many encounters with their enemies, like during the clockwork war more than twenty years before, but she thought they were safe.

She thought the Institute was safe. She had been very content just a few minutes earlier, staring at the peaceful sky full of stars above her, why had life decided to change her mind and play this trick?

She didn’t believe in religion, she didn’t believe in any faith, but somehow, she felt as if this was the payback for something. Had she wished too much? Was this what fate reserved to people like her who were cursed with the special gift of immortality?

She felt her throat dry at the sight of her bound hands, but it wasn’t over. She glanced around her to check that everyone was alright: Will and Jem were getting back on their feet, while Matthew, Cordelia and James were still in a corner, huddled together and checking on each other. They didn’t look hurt from where she was, but she wasn’t able to see clearly. They had been thrown in opposite directions and quickly caught sight of her.

She searched for Lucie and she felt her heart fall in her stomach when she couldn’t locate her. She couldn’t move, and she could only see a part of the yard, but Lucie wasn’t there.

“Where is Lucie?” she asked the others.

“Tessa!” Will hurried to her without thinking, but Jem stopped him. He gazed at his friend with a frown. “Why are you stopping me, Jem? We need to free her!”

 _Look behind her_ , Jem murmured, and Tessa, despite being far from them, could also hear the tinge of agitation in his voice.

“How is it…”

“ _Possible_?” Lucie inquired; a smug grin painted on her face. Tessa couldn’t see her daughter, but she knew she was behind her. “Everything is possible when you are a prince of hell, my _dear_ shadowhunter. Oh, have I said dear? There is nothing dear about you. Your life is meaningless to me. But you were essential in the creation of my -”

“Who are you? Where is my Luce?” Will demanded angrily, balling his hands into fists. He wanted to advance towards Tessa and whoever was impersonating Lucie, but Jem was still holding his arm to keep him from rushing closer to his family.

“Don’t worry, I don’t intend to dispose of her body, if that’s what you’re worried about. She’s still here,” she touched her chest with a finger, “but if I decide she’s to my liking, I may not leave her. She’s a pretty girl, smart, willing to collaborate. Do you know that she came to me asking to resurrect her boyfriend?” she asked to no one in particular as she walked around Tessa until she could look her in the face. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tessa Gray. I reckon you’re my daughter, apparently,” she said with disgust.

“Belial,” Tessa recognized with contempt.

“The one and only. Your son over there tried to destroy me and didn’t let me take his body once I returned from my little vacation, but your daughter here… it’s good you had two children.”

She couldn’t believe her eyes. She had often asked herself who her father could have been, but she had always dismissed the idea of even trying to look for him, to know who he was, to find out what were his powers and what she could do with them. She thought it wasn’t worth it. She knew her father was a prince of hell, and princes of hell were almost like them, except they were fallen angels, which meant that they also took pride in having really lived in heaven before their fall.

Somebody gasped in the distance, probably Cordelia, and Tessa saw that she was wielding Cortana.

Belial turned, following Tessa’s eyes to her daughter’s parabatai. “That would be useless, my dear,” she mocked Cordelia with a bat of her lashes – so unlike Lucie. “You already tried to hurt me with that petty golden thing once, but I won’t be fooled again. And ah, a little reminder. If you stab me, your friend will also die.”

“No one is going to die tonight, Belial. If you leave quietly,” said Will.

Belial gazed at him, tilting his head with a smirk. His eyes were still Lucie’s light blue, but they had lost their depth. Now they were hollow, and mocking. “You don’t interest me, or you’d be already dead, William Herondale,” he admitted. “I came for the most valuable piece,” Belial continue, moving around Tessa and stroking her chin. But the gesture lacked affection, because that wasn’t Lucie, it was just her body. Tessa shivered.

“What do you want?” Tessa inquired brusquely. “If it’s something I can give you, I will. But you need to leave us alone.”

The prince sneered at her. “You have such a temper, Tessa Gray. The sacrifice will be worth it, for sure. Tatiana will finally be disposable after this.”

She didn’t have time to ask what was he saying, because it all happened too quickly. Tessa just saw Belial grab Cortana from Cordelia’s hand, and in a swift move, the demon freed her feet and her hands from the vines. She barely registered Belial’s movements as he used the legendary sword to pierce her skin. And yet, she had just glanced at her hands for a second.

She felt her chest warm, and she realized that it was her blood scorching her. Why was her blood so heated? She feared that Belial would strike her again, but she barely had the time to think about this as she dropped to the ground, her strength suddenly leaving her body. She would have probably hit her head if she hadn’t fallen on her arm. She noticed Lucie’s body lying on the stones and she felt relieved. Belial had probably left her, or so she hoped.

She was losing consciousness by the second, but she saw that Lucie seemed to be waking up, and she looked startled?

“Mama,” she heard her say, then she felt her daughter grab her hand.

She felt another person put her head on a warm surface; perhaps it was a pair of legs? She tried not to close her eyes and she saw a flash of black and blue.

“Will,” she whispered, but her voice was a distant murmur.

“Yes, Tessa, I’m here. I’m here, Jem is here, you’re going to be alright,” he tried to reassure her, touched her face with his hand, kissed her hand… she noticed his hand was red, too red, too fast… “Don’t leave me,” he pleaded.

“My blood stained your hands,” she told him, as if she was saying something random, something ordinary. She thought her brain was acting up, why was she thinking about his hands?

But he didn’t care. He removed his evening jacket and pressed it on her chest, on her heart. _Her heart._ She had all the people she cared about around her. They were all part of her heart, and they were the reason why she woke up every morning. And yet, she felt her beat slow down, as if the love she had for them and the affection they also felt for her, wasn’t enough to let her heart keep its heartbeat. And in that moment, she was sure…

 _There is nothing we can do_ , she heard Jem say. His tone was blank, but she detected sorrow in it. _Her time… her time has come_ , he added.

“What? But she’s immortal! She can’t be dying, she can’t!” Will shouted in the dark of the yard, his eyes still fixed on her. She could barely see him. “Tess, tell him. Tell him that you’re not leaving.”

Tessa opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out at first. “I’ve… I’ve always loved you. I love… everyone of you,” she murmured as she tried to look at all of the faces around her. “James, Lucie, Will, Jem… I love all of you.”

“I love you,” Will told her, his voice breaking by the tears falling on his face, which were now wetting her own. She noticed they were warm. “You are strong, Tessa. I know you’re a warrior. Remember what I told you once? You’re like Boadicea, you fight. You win.”

She tried to smile, but she didn’t know if she succeeded, since she felt a strange feeling seeping in. Emptiness. She was drowning somewhere, far away. She wondered if there really were a heaven and a hell, and if there were, where would she go?

“Don’t blame yourself for this, _bach_ ,” she told him. “This is not your fault. Not Lucie’s, not… James’,” she coughed, then she closed her eyes. Closing her eyes was comforting. If she would only…

She felt at peace after shutting her eyes, but she couldn’t tell them. They wouldn’t know. She wouldn’t know either how that night, which seemed so beautiful and haunting, had turned into her worst nightmare.

They would never forget the moment when Tessa died.

The way Will cradled her limp body into his arms to check her heartbeat and found no sound: emptiness, hollowness, as if Tessa had turned into a doll, a mannequin. The screeching sound of his heart breaking in the dead silence of the night as he wept on her corpse, who just a few hours before he had made love with. The same body he had worshipped countlessly as if she was a goddess, his goddess who would live forever. But then, why… 

He couldn’t understand why she couldn’t be saved – there must be something they could do, something the Silent Brothers could do. But Jem was sure. He was sure that she couldn’t be fixed, there was no cure for her, and this shattered the heart he still knew could feel with clarity, with emotion. Because a part of him had died too, just like Will had lost a part of himself that night.

And James and Lucie were crying besides their father, both asking for forgiveness because they had been reckless, they hadn’t asked their parents and uncle Jem for help, and now this was the result. They shouldn’t blame themselves; Tessa had said, but what could they do?

Everyone was falling apart that night, even Cordelia and Matthew who weren’t related to her at all.

Who would have thought that a night so dazzling and full of bright stars would bring such an agonizing demise? But that was the beauty and the bitterness of life: it played with death every day as if living was a game of chess. And sometimes, life lost the bet, and the devil came to collect.


End file.
